My (Style) Soul Was Lost, But Now It Is Found

In a sprightly and unexpected turn of events, I’m back where I belong: The fashion industry.

As opportunity and luck often collide (usually after a seemingly never-ending rainstorm), I found myself in a quite attractive position that seemed to fit exactly like my James Jeans — perfectly.

After careful consideration — and by careful consideration, I mean weeks of interviewing with various childcare centers to see who and what were deemed suitable for my child to attend, plus trying to decide if I wanted to keep my no-stress-yet-borderline-mind-numbing-life that is the reality of being a SAHM, or, make the switch once again to becoming a real world working professional who gets dressed to go to work every day — I have made the decision to let my little toddler monkey roam free from his mommy as I fulfill my career aspirations.

After a near 3-year hiatus taken from my fashion life (undoubtedly the longest 3 years of my existence), I will be continuing along the path as a styling inspiration for the women of my new city, and my 2-and-a-half-year-old will be going to school while I do it.

Similar to the first time I traded sanity for a paycheck, I am filled with those familiar mixed emotions of trusting a stranger (a certified stranger, but a stranger nonetheless) with my sweet angel, while also preparing to be gone more than I am home — guilt, relief, excitement, fear and anxiousness overcame me faster than I accepted my new (exciting!) role.

Happiness Is Only Compromised If You Let It

I read once that you can’t truly feel a sense of accomplishment until you have gone through hard times.

While I haven’t experienced any real, great tragedy in my life, I have definitely dealt with struggles of depression and anxiety that always left me asking myself, “What should I be doing with my life?”

I’ve come to find the answer to that question to be:

Whatever I want.

I spent a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of me as it pertained to what I wanted to do with my life: What I did for work, what I did in my free time, where I wanted to live and why I wanted to pursue what I wanted to pursue.

Thinking of getting back into the fashion realm fills my soul with the adventure and will to succeed that it has desperately been missing these past few years. Looking back on the professional journey that has led me to where I am today makes those difficult years of uncertainty and frustration worth it.

Going back and forth between the two industries of journalism and fashion, I couldn’t decide which area to put my focus. Now that I have witnessed firsthand the pros and cons of working in both fields, I realize there is no right or wrong path. It is simply what feels right for me.

Boutique Sales Manager By Day, Mom By Always

If you are a mom — a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom, a purple mom, a stepmom — do you believe in the phrase, “Women can have it all!”?

Because I’m not sure if I do yet.

I am ecstatic to be back in a leadership position where I get to utilize my skills and talents in an environment where I truly thrive. I don’t have any doubts I won’t prosper in this opportunity that has always felt like my calling.

But I have to recognize it’s different this time around. This time I have a child who takes precedence over everything else. While I am out fulfilling a role I know I’m a natural fit for, this is the never-ending predicament working mothers with young kids face every single day, which begs the question:

Is succeeding in two contrasting roles possible?

I wasn’t aware at the time, but having a baby was the best thing that has happened to me, on many levels. Having him has showed me that sweating the small stuff — like what other people think of me — is a huge waste of time. He has allowed me to see life’s bigger picture, and showed me that living for me is the only way I will enjoy it.

I think if we cut ourselves a little more slack and give ourselves a little more credit for being the CEO of a household, the primary caretaker for our kids and thriving working professionals, I think we would enjoy all areas of our lives a lot more.

While I take the fashion retail world by storm (again) — in a small but great way, I will be doing it with more dignity, more focus and more energy. And I have to give a lot of that credit to my son.

My life now has a greater purpose and direction that allows me to look and feel like the style maven my heart has always been telling me I am.

Thanks for reading!