A Strange But Brilliant Lifehack
There’s routine to my mornings. Wake up at 6 am, brush my teeth, throw the curtains open and sip my delightful cappuccino while writing a self-helpery type blog post/cleaning up edits on my (first!) book.
Amidst my research of health and wellness trends combined with my own experimental variations of fine fettle fitness/eating/writing regimes, I’ve found one, truly fabulous self-improvement trick that takes but one minute, yet lasts until the sun goes down.
What is it, you ask?!
It’s reading my fantasy day-in-the-life of super successful, wildly happy, sensationally fabulous me — an exercise recommended by the noteworthy self-improvement enthusiast, Jen Sincero.
In her You Are A Badass book, she asks her readers to stop reading for a tick, pick up a journal, and write whatever comes to their minds detailing the going-ons of their ultimate fantasy life, asking themselves:
What are you wearing? Where are you living? Who are you spending time with? How do your surroundings make you feel? What smells and other senses are you experiencing? Why are you bursting at the seams to make this a reality?
The point is to write freely when answering these questions. No overthinking, no second-guessing. Just write whatever comes to your mind because you may surprise yourself with what you actually want. Then, once you have it jotted down, read it every night before you go to bed.
Why does this work? Your subconscious will begin to creepity creep its way into your conscious, which will then transcend those lofty daydreams into real days lived by you and the people you want in those days.
The payoff of doing this consistently — say, every day for six months, perhaps — is that that journal entry is no longer a list of hopes and wishes for a beautiful, grandiose, so-fulfilling-you-can-barely-stand-it life. It is now your life.
I have taken this nightly reading a step further, digesting it both before bed and right when I wake up. This way, I know my subconscious mind is definitely hanging out with my conscious mind, and doing it twice over may just grant me a quicker entry into spending my Sunday afternoons drinking wine with Sarah Jessica Parker on Bleecker Street.
Repetition is reality.
When you continually do something — anything — it will become your reality.
This is the reason alcoholics can not begin their day without daily affirmations or morning walks or whatever positive reinforcement marker their sponsor recommended they do to get their minds hyper-focused on their progress of sobriety.
Laura Clery, as she explains in her hilarious yet poignant book, “Idiot,” does a variation of the consistency is key concept by walking a mile and a half every morning with her husband — the two of them conversing about what they are grateful for that day and how they can continue to improve to be better human beings.
For the record, I mocked people who did ridiculous, somewhat narcissistic behaviors like shouting, “I am amazing!” into the mirror six times in the afternoon. I still am not on board with meditating or yoga, but I now know why people have inspirational phrases embedded in their home decor and tattooed on their wrists.
Those inspirational phrases serve as reminders as to what’s important in life. And I finally see their merit. It’s (sadly) easy to forget what and who we love most because our society is dead-focused on work, success, money and power — barreling over the fun and purposeful things we so desperately long to dedicate more time to.
Sealing my conviction to the fantasy day readings is another phrase Sincero (damn you, Sincero, you brilliant soul!) embeds in the minds who dare pick up her material:
What you focus on you create more of.
If you’re focusing on your anxiety about speaking up in a meeting or worries that you will never amount to what your parents want you to amount to, you’re going to create more of that horribly self-destructive energy which will make your days long, sad and miserable.
BUT! When you’re putting your focus on positive things — servicing other people, prioritizing exercise and healthy eating, making time for the friends that make you laugh so hard you pee your pants, putting effort into making your marriage happier, and diligently working toward your goal of becoming a renowned author — you’re going to create more of that energy.
The Results Thus Far
I wake up happier. I say goodbye to my husband and give him a kiss on the mouth before he leaves for work instead of mumbling a “See ya” under my breath while typing on my laptop.
I feel more excitement and adrenaline throughout my day because I have a clear, very specific goal in mind which I now know is achievable by taking chances, asking for help, striking up conversations with people I normally would ignore, and overall having an excitable outlook on my days instead of the humdrum, “Damn it, it’s only Tuesday” depressive speak we all fall victim to now and again.
What is your fantasy day in the life?
Thanks for reading!